A dog is still a dog, do not try to change your partner

The things that we accept, will be the things that we regret in our partners.My neighbour’s pet dog usually comes in my yard,he chases chickens,birds,vehicles and barks at pedestrians. He only does these things away from his residence.When he is home,he sleeps inside the house,he eats dog food,and he appears well trained. As soon as he afforded the opportunity to leave his yard,he reveals his true nature. My father observed the dog eating chicken bones that we discarded and he remarked that the dog sleeps on his own couch at home,yet he is in our yard,consuming bones. I replied, “a Dog is still a dog”. It does not matter if we take the dog to the vet, or we buy brand name accessories for the dog, he is still a dog.

I considered the lives of many people who feel that they can change their romantic partner. Silly isn’t it? Maya Angelou said that when people show you who they are,believe them. Do not waste your time and energy trying to fix the perceived  flaws and imperfections on another. Invest that time in yourself. Accept people for who they show you they are. 

Are you blind to the true nature of your partner?

Open you eyes ! 

The author is an attorney at law based in Trinidad.She specialises in Anti Money Laundering and Countering the Financing of Terrorism. Website : http://asydneygroup.com.
What’s app 868 484-7778

Instagram @asydneygroup.com

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There are no dead end jobs,just dead end people:It is an adventure to be alive

Today is a present. Are you alive or just living ? Bills ,bills ,bills. I wish the person who invented bills will choke on his saliva. Bills are a huge inconvenience to me. But working towards generating funds to pay these bills is fun. In the absence of he responsibility to pay bills,some people may never enter into the workforce. Nevertheless,it is a blessing to be on your way to work. Some people are not economically active. Look at it as a quest. You are on a journey to make money. Do not look at it as going to your dead end job. A wise man told me that there are “…No dead end jobs,just dead end people “. Do not resent your employer,after all  the company is paying your bills,sending your kids to school. For the entrepreneurs out there,think of your job as your investor. I encourage you to view your day as an adventure,just like something I heard in the movie Peter Pan ,the version with Robin Williams.

The author is an attorney at law in Trinidad. She specialises in Anti Money Laundering and Countering the Financing of Terrorism. See the website http://asydneygroup.com .

What’s app 1 868 484-7778

Instagram :@asydneygrouptt

No delay in the game

How much of human life is lost in waiting? Do not wait until the timing is perfect. Proceed with your plans . Time waits on no one . Plan and execute. You have to state your intentions to the world and put it out in the universe. It will come back to you. The elements will line themselves up. Everything will fall into place. Start today,baby steps .Do not wait until the time is right. Do not wait for conditions to be favourable,just proceed and they will follow your lead. You have to guide the way ,you will become weary in waiting . Plan ,execute and repeat . Write your plans down for your records and tell your friends about it to remain accountable . Press on.

How to determine if you are being cheated on : Look out for these signs

This generation inherited infidelity from our forefathers. We have now glamorized being the side piece and we pity the main course who is living under false assumptions. I had the distinct pleasure of speaking to a wise man. He told me that in order to discover whether you are being cheated on,take the following steps :

1.Go to sleep early ,then wake up at midnight to check if your partner is sleeping next to you or sneaking phone calls to another lover.

2. If you live together, purposely forget your keys at home,that way,your partner has to open the door for you. You can catch them off guard at this juncture.

3. Drop by their residence (if you do not live together ) unexpectedly,and carry a token of love for them,such as flowers or a meal. Ask to go inside the house and have a refreshment.Observe the surroundings carefully. 

4. Pay attention to changes in their daily routine,such as prolonged time spent at the gym or unexpected trips to the grocery that turn into a 2 hour road trip. 

5.Keep your nose open to new fragrances or body odors.Everyone has a distinct smell and when persons are romantically involved,their odors combine and may change. 

6. Changes in sexual desires or requests . Your partner may be trying to be more adventurous or simply chasing a sexual dragon on a quest for pleasure. A new lover may have exposed them to different intimate positions and they may want to try it with you.

7. Use of new slangs,or terms-we emulate the same speech patterns as those we constantly interact with,so your partner may be repeating new words that they heard from their lover. 

This may seem like a fishing expedition,but it is worth the effort to determine if your time is being wasted. The biggest step after discovering that your partner is in fact cheating,is to be willing to walk away. Indeed,you will miss your lover, but then ask yourself what exactly do you miss about them. Do an audit of the time that you two spent together. Did you give more than you received? Were you the only one inconvenienced by your meeting times or were they mutually convenient ? The end goal is to find out if you were being used. Then you have to remember your worth and walk away. If you choose to stay with your lover after you learn that they are cheating on you,then you are solely responsible for any future unhappiness. The cheating spouse may seek to exercise control over you psychologically. They may be under the impression that you cannot function without them and they will continue to hurt you.

Why do people stab you in the back ? Why do they talk behind your back ?

People underestimate the importance of their backs. If you are having back pains you will have grave difficulty functioning. Your central nervous system consists of your brain and your spinal cord. Your spinal cord runs along your back. Spine injuries may render the victim cripple. I was watching the second installment of Independence Day (2016) and the alien invader was destroyed by shooting her in the back. One of the men who was fighting to save the World advised his comrades to aim for the alien’s back because that was her weakness. I took a moment to process this and I recalled that the human back is also a vulnerable area. We always lament when persons known to us say negative about us “behind our backs “. We become bitter when they “stab us in the back”, wouldn’t it hurt more to aim for our hearts ? I think not,because a broken heart can mend. But a broken back, will never be whole again. In this era of user friendly people ,we have to guard our backs. We have to watch our own backs because a friend,is a known enemy. 

Remember your training, follow the protocol then be emotional for a brief moment

Training has a major impact on our minds . A young man who was trained in the army will never be the same again. A student who receives training at Law School will analyze everything. Apart from preparing us for a career,training will impact the way that we interact with others. I saw the new Kingsman movie with my best friend and after Eggsy’s home was destroyed he became flustered. Merlin appeared and warned him to “…Remember his training,follow the doomsday protocol ,and then be emotional for a brief moment”. There was so much wisdom in that statement. It is easy to feel overwhelmed when we are faced with difficult times. We can let our emotions rule us, and not ‘feel’ to go to work. Everyone can see that we are upset or sad and this is where emotional intelligence skills are displayed. In this age of ‘unsocial media’ we may post a status or a video that we may soon regret. We have to remember our training. After that,there should be certain steps to take in the event of disappointment. This may include ‘plan B’ or it may include leaving an abusive relationship and returning to your family home. For a fleeting moment,shed a tear. Express your frustrations in a private corner and leave them there. Do not nurse the wounds from a past lover, do not nurture the hate. To do otherwise, is to plant the seeds of bitterness and resentment. This makes life appear grim and unbearable. 

Knock, Knock, knocking on Opportunity’s door…the importance of actively pursuing your dreams

The race is not for the swift but for those who can endure. You cannot catch fish, if you do not lower the rod in the water. You can stay in the boat as long as you want, the fish will not jump into your plate. Now is the time to get up, get out and get something done in your life. Stop blaming others for the outcome of your decisions, this is your life. I am the proud guardian of 3 kittens. I have one special kitten, he has developed a system of getting my attention. The kitten has a great sense of time, he knows my bed time, he knows my departure time for work and he knows when I will return. If I leave the house and he did not anticipate that ,he sits on a pile of bricks to get a better vantage point to see my safe return. He sits outside my door on a blue mat that I bought for him. If he does not see me, he sits outside the window , where he can hear the sound of a television or music. He climbs on the rooftop to get my attention and purrs. He is always ready for the sound of the cracking of the door, when I am about to feed him. He always eats first because he is always ready for the opportunity to get my attention first. His brother and sister always eat his leftovers.

This kitten is brilliant. Instead of knocking on the door, he sleeps outside my door. He knows that I have to leave the house at some point. He makes himself comfortable on my step and he waits. How many times in life do we knock on a closed door? When we get no response, we walk away in frustration. This kitten has developed a clever system of getting what he wants. We must do the same, if we want a promotion at our job, we must actively learn what is required for the new position. Go and learn new courses, take up a new language, volunteer on the weekends to gain experience. Do not complain and take no action. If you want a boyfriend or girlfriend, become your own friend first. Discover yourself, question why you drink excessive alcohol, find out your triggers. Improve yourself, when the time is right and a partner approaches you, he or she will complement your life,not complete it.  Patience is required to wait for the opportunity to arrive, but while you wait ,you will be busy. Brother Buju Banton said that “opportunity is a scarce commodity” so you have to be prepared when it comes. The universe rewards effort. All the time and sweat that you spend perfecting your craft will return onto you seven fold. As you grow and mature, you will network and someone may open that door that you have been knocking on and invite you inside. You may be asked to provide the password to enter, this password may be a certain skill, or a different language or a certificate that you never bothered to pursue.

This is your life, so make  your bed outside the door that opens the way to the opportunity that you seek and improve yourself , while waiting for the door to open. If you become weary, sit by the window, climb on the rooftop, get the attention of the person who has to open the door for you.

Get rid of toxic people : Say NO to Narcissists 

Pursuing your dream is a full time job. You will get discouraged, and you will be disappointed. Sleep will be your enemy and you will always be preoccupied. There is no room in your life for toxic people. I sit and I observe everyone around me and I have gradually distanced myself from toxic people. I am no longer available to entertain your pity party or to inflate your ego. In this age of unsocial media, narcissism reveals its ugly head. Selfies flood my timelines and I observe patrons at parties recording themselves having a good time. I witnessed individuals trying to alter their reality to portray a different image of themselves online. Unsocial media has promoted narcissists and they are everywhere. There are situations where you cannot avoid contact with toxic people but if you can, please delete them from your life.

 How to spot a toxic person:

1. They spread negativity-these people always see the bad in every situation and talk about it. They take the fun out of everything, and you should stay far away from them. 

2. They criticize you and others-nothing ever reaches their high standards. They think so highly of themselves that everyone else is inferior to them.

3.They are jealous-they do not take delight in the success of others. They always assume that others became wealthy by ill-gotten gains. 

4.Everything is always dramatic-these people are magnets for drama. They tell you about their problems and you become exhausted by trying to help. Shortly thereafter, they find themselves in another predicament. You cannot afford to fix people’s problems and then cry yourself to sleep. At some point,people have to solve their own problems. 

5.They play the victim-sometimes they engineer an entire story and assume the role of the victim. 

6.They are self-centred-they deny you the chance to speak, everything is always about them. They always cut across you and do not listen to your opinion. 

Free yourself.

Do not blow up too quickly: Enjoy the entrepreneurial ride

Do not expand to quickly, you may implode. I was contacted by a representative of a local telecommunications service  provider. He tried to convince me to advertise in  the local telephone directory. That way ,he said, I would attract new prospects. At the time I was discussing this proposition with a brilliant business professional. She asked me what I would do with all those incoming calls . She said that I may be overwhelmed and I agreed. The telephone directory also has an online version, the result is double exposure. I carefully considered the advice and I told the representative that I may contact him in the next 5 years.

I have been binge watching comedy series from the 80’s and 90’s. While watching an episode of “Sister,Sister” Lisa started a business, she made dresses and offered them for sale. Her first customer bought a dress and Lisa felt invincible. She started planning to attract new customers. She called the media houses and asked for quotations to place advertisements. She was advised by Ray that she should take it slowly and not expand too quickly. Lisa placed the advertisement and the same client came knocking on her door.Ray answered the door and gave the first customer a full cash refund and accepted the dress that she wanted to return. He hid the dress that was returned in order to protect Lisa’s feelings. Lisa was upset when she discovered the truth but she was determined to bring her dream to pass. She realised that she needed to conduct the business on a small scale then ,eventually she would expand.

I recalled a conversation with one of my clients , he indicated that equipment should not be purchased unless a contract was secured. He said that a business must be gradually expanded , creep then walk.

I want to appeal to you ,although you may be ambitious, life will knock your socks off. Be patient, trust the process. Do not take loans to acquire equipment if it seems that work is not forthcoming. The equipment has a minimum of 6 months warranty. In the event that you do not get any clients, you will not have cause to use the equipment and detect any flaws. The warranty may expire before you get a client. You will then have to pay to repair or replace the equipment. Should you decide to sell the equipment, you will lose money because of depreciation.

Remember success is 1% inspiration and 99% persistence , so please learn as much as you can, acquire contracts then expand,in that order.

About the Author:

A.Sydney is an attorney at law in Trinidad and Tobago. She specializes in AML/CFT/FIU/Tax Compliance, and provides Corporate Secretarial Services to local and international giants in various industries. Feel free to explore the website for her portfolio of companies and add her on social media:

Website:

http://asydneygroup.com

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/sydneygrouptt/

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/asydneygrouptt/?hl=en

LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/sydney-group-238922141

WhatsApp only 868 484-7778

 

Will you prepare a WILL?

A farmer told me that the best of the crop should be kept for your children, the remainder should be offered for sale. He said it takes the average man 10 years to learn this lesson. He lamented that many men are not concerned with the well-being of their seeds once planted. These seeds do not receive water from their planter during the lifetime of the latter. It cannot reasonably be expected that the seeds will receive fertilizer following the planter’s death. For those farmers who are concerned with the future of the spouse and children, please read the following and take action forthwith.

While the realization of the need to prepare a Will is unpleasant, it is a necessary task because you are actively planning to provide for your family after your exit from this lifetime. Creating your Will is the first step in a two-step process. The second step is safely storing your Will. It is prudent to ensure that the Testator (person who creates the Will) has title to all the assets that the Testator purports to distribute.

 

What Is a Will?

A Will is a legal document that contains your wishes regarding the distribution of your property and the care of any minor children after your demise. There are certain formalities that must be followed to ensure that the Will is valid and enforceable and ultimately that your wishes are carried out.

 

What can I do in a will?

Most people use a will to leave instructions about what should happen to their property after they die. However, you can also use a will to:

  • Name an executor;
  • Name guardians for children and their property;
  • Decide how debts and taxes will be paid;
  • Provide for pets;
  • Serve as a backup to a living trust.

 

 

Why Do I Need to Create a Will?

Creating a Will gives you;

  • Sole discretion over the distribution of your assets;
  • The power to decide how your belongings, such as cars or family heirlooms, should be distributed;
  • The power to direct the distribution of your financial investments;
  • The ability to provide for the care of minor children;
  • The opportunity to minimize tensions among survivors;
  • Avoid relatives battling over your possessions
  • The power to direct your assets to the charity of your choice.
  • To leave your assets to an institution or an organization, a Will can see that your wishes are carried out.

 

How Do I Get a Will?

When you are ready to prepare a will, compile a list of your assets and debts. Be sure to include the contents of safe deposit boxes, items of sentimental value, family heirlooms and other assets that you wish to transfer to a particular person or entity. If your estate is substantial (ranging in the millions of dollars) or your situation is legally complex, you may wish to enlist the services of an attorney at law.

 

 

While you can create a Will for yourself, there are certain formalities set out by the law.

Under section 42 of the Wills and Probate Act Chap. 9:03 of the Laws of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago, a Will must be made in writing, signed at the end of the document by the person making the Will, A testator must be 21 years or over. The Will must be witnessed by two persons who will also sign at the foot of the Will and in the presence of each other at the same time and in the presence of the testator. Each person signing the Will must have the mental capacity’ to sign the Will. An intended beneficiary must not be used as a witness to attest to the Will.

 

Can I Change My Will after it is created?

Changing your will is easy:

  • Simply write a new will to replace the old one or;
  • Make an addition using an amendment known as a codicil.

 

 

Who should I name as my executor?

You can name your spouse, mature offspring, or another trusted friend or relative as your executor. If your affairs are complicated, it may be prudent to name an attorney at law or someone with legal and financial expertise. You can also name joint executors, such as your spouse or partner and your attorney.

 

One of the most important things your Will can do is empower your executor to pay your bills and deal with debt collectors. Make sure the wording of your will allows for this, and also gives your executor leeway to take care of any related issues that aren’t specifically outlined in your will.

 

Where should I keep my will?

  • The Probate Registry at the Probate Court- usually requires your original Will before it can process your estate, so it is important to keep the document safe yet accessible.
  • A bank safe deposit box that only you can get into, your family might need to seek a court order to gain access. A waterproof and fireproof safe in your house is a good alternative.
  • Your attorney at law or someone you trust should keep signed copies in case the original is destroyed. Signed copies can be used to establish your intentions. However, the absence of an original will can complicate matters, and without it there is s no guarantee that your estate will be settled as you’d hoped.

 

How often does a will need to be updated?

You can update your Will as often as you wish. The only version of your will that matters is the most current valid one in existence at the time of your death. A rule of thumb: Review your will every two or three years to be safe.

 

How can a Will be revoked?

A Will can be revoked by a valid marriage as well as the signing and witnessing of a new Will.

 What happens after death?
The Will is probated. Probate is a process whereby the validity of a Will is determined.

 

What happens when the deceased left no will behind (Letters of Administration)

If you do not have a Will, you die intestate. In such a case, the State will oversee the distribution of your assets.

 

Attention to all farmers: Unless you want the Estate Owner to dictate your affairs and distribute your crops after your death, get your farm in order.

 

Disclaimer

The content herein is provided for informational purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal advice. You should contact your attorney at law to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

A.Sydney is an attorney at law by profession in Trinidad and Tobago. She specializes in AML/CFT/FIU  Compliance, Taxation and provides Corporate Secretarial Services. Kindly explore the website for her portfolio of companies: http://asydneygroup.com .