This generation inherited infidelity from our forefathers. We have now glamorized being the side piece and we pity the main course who is living under false assumptions. I had the distinct pleasure of speaking to a wise man. He told me that in order to discover whether you are being cheated on,take the following steps :
1.Go to sleep early ,then wake up at midnight to check if your partner is sleeping next to you or sneaking phone calls to another lover.
2. If you live together, purposely forget your keys at home,that way,your partner has to open the door for you. You can catch them off guard at this juncture.
3. Drop by their residence (if you do not live together ) unexpectedly,and carry a token of love for them,such as flowers or a meal. Ask to go inside the house and have a refreshment.Observe the surroundings carefully.
4. Pay attention to changes in their daily routine,such as prolonged time spent at the gym or unexpected trips to the grocery that turn into a 2 hour road trip.
5.Keep your nose open to new fragrances or body odors.Everyone has a distinct smell and when persons are romantically involved,their odors combine and may change.
6. Changes in sexual desires or requests . Your partner may be trying to be more adventurous or simply chasing a sexual dragon on a quest for pleasure. A new lover may have exposed them to different intimate positions and they may want to try it with you.
7. Use of new slangs,or terms-we emulate the same speech patterns as those we constantly interact with,so your partner may be repeating new words that they heard from their lover.
This may seem like a fishing expedition,but it is worth the effort to determine if your time is being wasted. The biggest step after discovering that your partner is in fact cheating,is to be willing to walk away. Indeed,you will miss your lover, but then ask yourself what exactly do you miss about them. Do an audit of the time that you two spent together. Did you give more than you received? Were you the only one inconvenienced by your meeting times or were they mutually convenient ? The end goal is to find out if you were being used. Then you have to remember your worth and walk away. If you choose to stay with your lover after you learn that they are cheating on you,then you are solely responsible for any future unhappiness. The cheating spouse may seek to exercise control over you psychologically. They may be under the impression that you cannot function without them and they will continue to hurt you.
Antoinette Sydney LLB LEC CAMLFC CFRMP is an author and entrepreneur based in Trinidad and Tobago.
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