The dangers of searching for a partner to  complete you : The “charger” syndrome.

Your smartphone is useless without your charger. The purpose of the charger is to rejuvenate the battery with power in order for the smartphone to continue to function. How many of us are searching for a partner who breathes life into us? I have coined the term “charger syndrome” to capture the dilemma where a person feels incomplete/non functional without their partner. It is my respectful view that a partner is meant to enhance us and to complement us.

It is dangerous when we search for partners to complete us. The implications here is that you have not embraced being single. Single means that you are one, you are already complete. You have to be odd to be number one. If you are searching for a partner to complete you, then you are telling your subconscious mind ,that you are incomplete. It is a blessing to be single. You can find yourself. You can use this time to take additional courses, learn new languages, start going to the gym or start that business that you always wanted to start. These are things that may be difficult to pursue when you are in a committed relationship.

The dangers of looking for a partner to complete you:

1. You erroneously assume that you are broken/incomplete.

2. Narcissistic Sociopaths will use you, drain you emotionally and leave you picking up the broken pieces of your shattered heart.

3.You give power to your potential partner who will disrespect you, with the expectation that they will be forgiven, because you think that you need them.

4. You will lose your independence by needing someone to complete you. Everything that they do or fail to do will affect you.

5. You will underestimate your self worth and you will accept less than you deserve when you expect someone to complete you.

6. You will not be treated as an equal in the relationship because you will be deemed as needy.

This does not represent an exhaustive list of the dangers of expecting a partner to complete you. A better approach is to wait for a partner who complements you to find his/her way to you. That way , you will not need them , like a smartphone needs a charger to function. The partner who complements you, can be likened to a smartphone case. They will support you and enhance you ability to perform safely. This is applicable if your are single or married. Find yourself first. Complete yourself. Love yourself. Do not give anyone the power to feel that you NEED them to COMPLETE you.


A.Sydney is an attorney at law by profession in Trinidad and Tobago. She specializes in AML/CFT  Compliance, Taxation and provides Corporate Secretarial Services. Kindly explore the website for her portfolio of companies:

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